


It's Not Anger

by stingrayy



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Other, Slow Burn, gender neutral reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:40:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22206496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stingrayy/pseuds/stingrayy
Summary: You and Gladio fight as teenagers.
Relationships: Gladiolus Amicitia/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	1. It's Fear

**Author's Note:**

> Hello this is my first ever fic it is entirely self indulgent and I don't know what I'm doing (please be gentle)  
> Reader is gender neutral

You groaned as you stretched your arms above your head. The weak rays of sunlight streaming through your window told you it was time to get up, and you reluctantly threw the covers off of you. Today, you were to train with Cor. It was a welcome break from your regular, hectic work as a Crownsguard medic.

  
After getting dressed and eating a quick breakfast, you made your way to the castle. It was quiet this time of morning, and you smiled at the warm sun on your skin. You walked into the training hall to find Cor conversing with a young man. You recognized him as the Prince’s shield.

  
“Y/N,” Cor greeted, “this is Gladiolus. He will be joining us for the first part of practice. I’d like the two of you to spar.”

“Nice to meet you,” you smile, a little flustered with Cor’s sudden expectation.

  
“You as well,” he said, swinging his wooden broadsword over his shoulder. You grabbed a weapon of your own and tried not to be intimidated by Gladio’s size.

  
“You ready?” He asked with a grin. You nodded, tightening your grip on your weapon. “Don’t make it too easy on me,” he joked.

  
He lunged at you, and you deflected the powerful blow. You soon realized there was no way you could win him in a battle of strength. You dodged his next few attacks, quickly sweeping your weapon at his legs. He staggered back, and you seized the opportunity to smack his side with your sword. He glared at you, resetting his posture after the hit. This time, he took the defensive. You swung your weapon three quick times, and he deftly deflected all of them. He charged at you, looking to lock swords. You raised your weapon, but feinted at the last second and hit him on the back. He glared at you, frustration glowing in his amber eyes.

  
You landed hit after hit on Gladiolus, and every time he would grow more frustrated. He wasn’t thinking fast enough to counter your attacks. You’d lost track of how long you’d been fighting, and completely forgotten about Cor’s surveillance. You’d forgotten about the sweat stinging your eyes and the aching calluses on your hands. All you could focus on was the fight.

  
Eventually, something snapped in Gladiolus. You landed another hit to his chest, and instead of touching his sword to yours to reset the spar, he yelled in frustration and lunged at you. You raised your sword in front of you and braced for the blow. Your weapon splintered apart from the force, and you rolled backwards. Gladiolus panted, stunned at his own force. Something shimmered dangerously in his eyes.

  
“That’s enough,” Cor began to say.

  
“Again!” you interrupted, raising your splintered weapon towards Gladiolus. He paid no mind to Cor’s words and charged at you again. You managed to dodge and deflect his angry blows, but couldn’t land another hit with your broken sword. Still, you kept up your speed and countered Gladiolus’ every move. The frustration in his eyes almost made you feel bad.

  
Gladiolus charged at you again, and you moved to block the blow. At the same time, you both feinted in opposite directions. Gladiolus swung his sword and hit you in the back with a grunt, finally landing a hit. You both stood, trying to catch your breath.

  
“You…” he said eventually, “are fast.”

  
“And you’re strong as hell,” you replied, dropping the remains of your sword and sitting on the floor. He joined you, as did Cor.

  
“Sorry,” he began to apologize, gesturing to your splintered sword, “I let it get the best of me.”

  
“I understand,” you reassured him, “You rely too much on your strength.” Gladiolus looked at you confused.

  
“In the beginning, you were just swinging and hoping your blows would land. There’s no way in hell I can brute force against you, so I observed and took advantage of your weaknesses. That’s why I hit you so many times.” Gladiolus stared at the ground in front of him.

  
“You landed that hit on me because you did the same. You saw through my weakness and took advantage. You knew I couldn’t take that hit, and you knew I would feint.” Eventually, he let out a chuckle.

  
“You sound like Cor,” he said, smiling at you.

  
“He taught me everything I know,” you reply, smiling at Cor.

  
“You did well, Gladio. Although you let your anger get the best of you,” Cor said, grabbing the splintered handle of your weapon, “you learned something today.”

  
“See through their weakness, and take advantage,” Gladio said, “and maybe get a little faster.” You chuckled.

  
“And one other thing,” Cor said, standing up, “listen to me when I tell you to stop next time. The two of you can clean up this mess while I see to replacing the sword.” You and Gladio exchange half guilty looks before you stood up, and began to clean up the splintered pieces of wood that littered the training hall.

***

Thankfully, the Crownsguard required little from you as a medic for the next few days. When you weren’t tending to the royal garden, you were training with Gladio. You felt an odd sense of pride at how much he’d learned in just a few training sessions, and felt plenty of bruises from where he’d managed to hit you during practice.

  
“You’re getting faster,” you commented after sparring one day.

  
“Thanks,” he said, toweling the sweat from his face, “You’re really kicking my ass.”

  
“That’s what I’m here to do,” you laughed, letting the silence settle between you. Eventually, Gladio sighed.

  
“You’re really observant. You tell me things about myself that I didn’t even know I did,” he chuckled, “I never noticed that thing with my knee.” You sat on a bench, gesturing for Gladio to join you.

  
“Wanna hear something else I noticed?” you asked.

  
“What’s that?”

  
“You fight like you’re scared,” you said, noticing Gladio tense next to you.

  
“Hmph,” he said eventually, “and what do you mean by that?”

  
“You may put on a brave face, but you fight like the enemy could teleport behind you and kill you at any second. You become irrational when you’re scared,” Gladio stares at his hands as you continue, “You have to be objective. Find patterns in movement and attack the opening. Don’t think about what could happen, think about what is happening.” Gladio chuckles.

  
“Can you read my mind or something?” he asked.

  
“Yes,” you teased, letting yourself laugh with him.

  
“Anything else you wanna pick my brain about?” he asked.

  
“Do you want me to keep going?” you offered.

  
“How much deeper into my head can you get?” he asked in disbelief.

  
“You get angry when I hit you because you think you’re untouchable,” you replied, not breaking eye contact, “You have a dichotomy of fear and hubris that makes you doubt yourself, yet think you’re the strongest man alive at the same time.” You thought you saw Gladio’s lip quiver before he looked away and sighed.

  
“It’s not anger,” he said after a pause, “it’s fear. Just like you said.” He stood and walked away, slinging the towel over his shoulder.

***

The next three weeks were filled with little else outside of work. The Crownsguard had sent a group to fight off Empire forces outside the wall, and they had returned in pretty bad shape. You spent the little free time you had tending to the royal garden, picking weeds and pruning flowers that needed some extra care. While you had no time to train with him as of late, you welcomed Gladio whenever he wandered through the garden. You waved, smiling as he walked your way.

  
“Hey,” he said one afternoon, “need a hand?”

  
“I’m almost done, actually,” you reply, tossing a handful of weeds into a wheelbarrow nearby, “How’ve you been?”

  
“Pretty good,” he said. Something in his eyes told a different story, though. Worried you’d scare him away, you prodded as gently as you could.

  
“If there’s anything I can do for you, let me know,” you said, locking eyes with him.

  
“Thanks,” he said, moving to grab one handle of the wheelbarrow and help you drag it through the garden. Once it was emptied and returned to its place, you stretched your back and strolled back through the garden with Gladio.

  
“You know, I just can’t stop thinking about what you told me the other day,” he admits.

  
“What do you mean?”

  
“Remember when we first started sparring? You told me I fight like I’m scared,” he said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. You hummed, remembering.

  
“I just thought about it and, you’re right,” he sighed, “and I hate that you’re right. Whenever I look at Noct, I just… I can’t explain it. I hate that little brat from the bottom of my heart but I would lay down my life for him in a second. I’d never forgive myself if anything ever happened to him.” You pondered his words, something in your heart yearning to help Gladio.

  
“You’re scared that you won’t be able to protect him,” you said.

  
“Exactly,” he said, taking a seat on a bench nearby. You sat next to him.

  
“I’ve fought with you in that training hall a lot, and I can tell you that the prince is pretty damn lucky to have you as his shield,” you assured him, “You are stupid strong, and the ballsiest bastard I’ve ever had the priviledge of fighting.” Gladio chuckled a little.

  
“You kick my ass every time we fight,” he says, “you’re a head shorter than me and I could lift you with one arm. If you can kick my ass like you do, the hell am I gonna do against a real enemy?”

  
“Prince Noctis trusts you to protect him. You have to trust yourself, too,” you explain, “Of course, there’s the technicalities of combat, but all of that comes from a trust and belief that you have in yourself.” You placed your hand on Gladio’s shoulder, “The strongest warriors never really believe they’re strong enough. There will always be doubt. The strongest warriors have an unbreakable will to get better.” Gladio looked at you, something twinkling in his eyes.

“That’s… really nice,” he said, smiling weakly.

  
“Cor told me that,” you explain, smiling back at him, “You have that will, Gladio. You are the most stubborn, hardheaded, and sometimes stupid fighter I’ve ever seen. That’s your will. Nobody can take that away from you but yourself.” Gladio hummed, not knowing what to say.

  
“Prince Noctis couldn’t ask for a better shield,” you said, “so don’t take that away from yourself.” Gladio hesitated, looking fondly into your face before pulling you in for a hug. You squeezed him as hard as you could.'

  
“Thank you,” he said quietly. His voice so close to your ear sent shivers down your spine.

***

On top of your sparring matches, Gladio began inviting you to join him on his early morning jogs. You rarely enjoyed running, even when you had a partner, but you quickly saw improvment in your training. You most enjoyed the quiet and cool mornings as the world came alive, and of course watching the sunrise.

  
“You alright?” Gladio asked, pulling his headphone out and stopping his jog alongside you.

  
“Look,” you said, pointing at the sky, “It’s so pretty.” Gladio came beside you and stared at the brilliant hues of pink and orange that painted the clouds in the sky. You pulled out your phone and snapped a few pictures.

  
“Can you send those to me?” Gladio asked, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Yeah,” you replied as you opened a new contact in your phone. After he punched in his number, you quickly sent the photos and pocketed your phone.

  
“I never really get to see the sunrise,” you said, “I never wake up early enough.”

  
“It’s beautiful,” Gladio agreed. He chuckled after a pause and added, “Almost as beautiful as you.” You couldn’t help the smile that cracked across your face. At a loss for words, you turn and punch Gladio in the arm. He pretends to wince in pain.

  
You look at him for a moment, not shying away from his amber eyes. You admired the way his hoodie hugged against his broad chest and arms. The way he smiled at you with those eyes just made him look so damn pretty. He was finally growing into his height, and you wondered what it would be like to hold his hand. You shook your head and chuckled, trying to ignore the twinge of pain you felt at the thought.

  
“If you wanted my number so bad, you could have just asked me,” you said, placing your headphones back in your ears and jogging away. Gladio just laughed as he followed you.


	2. It's Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gladio gets his scar and you patch him up. Also you read his diary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 2 babey, still don't know what I'm doing and I certainly don't know how to write poetry thank u uwu

You were just finishing up your work, going to check on the last few patients of the night. Your feet hurt like hell and you were exhausted. All you wanted was the warm embrace of your bed. Just as you were about to leave, another patient came through the door. With a sigh, you came to help the other medics as they sat him on a bed. As they patted blood away from his face, you realized it was Gladio. Noctis, Ignis, and Prompto came with him. 

“Look what the cat drug in,” you teased him, sliding on a pair of latex gloves and opening a medicine kit. You took over, gently cleaning the blood from his face. He had a cut from his eyebrow down to his jaw. 

“You’re lucky,” you said, tossing the bloodied gauze into the trash can, “You could have lost your eye.” 

“Very lucky indeed,” he said. You laid him down on the bed and quickly cleaned the wound before covering it with gauze. 

“If you won’t mind me asking, how’d it happen?” you asked, sitting him up. 

“Prompto, Ignis, and I were out at the arcade with Noct. We were headed home, and some guy with a knife recognized us and wanted to rob us. He tried to cut Noct, but I jumped in front of him and… well, here we are.” He said with a sigh.

“A true shield,” you comment fondly, looking at his friends sitting anxiously in the waiting room. 

You sent gladio home with gauze and antibiotic ointment, as well as a handwritten paper with detailed instructions for his wound care. His friends were relieved to see that he was okay.

“You’re gonna look like a thug with that scar on your face,” Noctis teased.

“ _ That’s _ the thanks I get for protecting you from an  _ actual _ thug?” Gladio chided. 

“I’m glad you still have your eyesight,” Ignis soothed.

“Thanks for patching him up,” Prompto said to you. 

“Anytime,” you said, “But I don’t wanna see you in here again. Be careful out there.” 

“You got it,” Gladio replied, his gaze lingering on you with a smile. He looked at the clock hanging on the wall and added, “Aren’t you outta here soon?” 

“Yeah, I just have to clean up and clock out,” you say, remembering the pain in your feet. 

“We’ll wait for you,” he said fondly. 

“Would you like to join us for dinner?” Ignis offered, “It’s the least we can do for your help.” 

“Yeah! Gladio’s been telling us lots about you. I can’t wait to get to know the person he--” Prompto was cut off by Gladio putting him in a headlock. 

“ _ You _ can go wait in the car,” he growled, turning to leave, “We’ll be just outside, by the car.” 

“I’ll be out soon,” you said, bowing to the prince before moving to finish up. You giggled to yourself, wondering what Prompto was going to say. 

When you left the hospital, the cool night air was a welcome change from the stuffy walls of your work. Gladio held the car door open for you as you entered. 

“How was work?” he asked as Ignis keyed the ignition. 

“Long,” you sigh, relieved at finally being able to sit, “I worked 14 hours today. Thankfully, I’m off tomorrow.” 

“That’s rough,” Prompto sympathized next to you, “but at least you get to eat dinner at the castle! The food is always  _ so  _ good.” 

“You’ve been training with Gladio, right?” Noctis asked from the front passenger seat. You hum in response. “Damn, thanks for making him better able to kick my ass,” he laughs. 

“ _ Please  _ watch your language in company,” Ignis sighed from behind the wheel. You smile, trying your best not to fall asleep from the smooth car ride jostling you along. 

When you reached the castle, Gladio held the door open for you again. You stretched your arms above your head and laughed as Gladio closed the door in Prompto’s face. 

“Rude!” the blonde yelled, exiting from the other side of the car.

You tried not to gape at the incredible architecture of the building as you entered. Despite being a member of the Crownsguard, you rarely visited the inside of the castle. Soon, your group was greeted by Cor and several others, one who you recognized to be Gladio’s father. 

“How is it?” he asked immediately, concern showing on his features. 

“Not bad, thanks to Y/N here,” Gladio replied, placing his hand on your back. You smiled awkwardly. 

“They were the one that patched me up in the hospital,” 

“It’s great to finally meet you,” Clarus said, “I’ve heard you’ve helped Gladio a lot with his training. Thank you for all you’ve done for my son.”

“Of course,” you say with a short bow, “He’s taught me a lot as well.” You eyed Cor, who stood with his arms crossed. Something in his stoic expression was off, but you couldn’t tell what. 

“I thought it would be okay for Y/N to join us for dinner tonight,” Gladio said, “I’d love for you all to get to know them better.” With the sudden attention on you, you felt your face heat up. 

“I think that’s a great idea,” Clarus said, gesturing for us to follow. You watched Cor place his hand on Gladio’s shoulder and nod at him. You thought you saw the corners of his mouth lift in a smile. Though Cor would never say it, you could tell he was proud of the way Gladio protected the prince.

After a great meal, you struggled to fight off the tiredness in your head. You conversed with everyone at the table as best you could, but socializing wasn’t your strong suit. Not only were you not used to being waited on, you certainly weren’t used to speaking to such high ranking people in the royal family. You bounced your leg anxiously under the table. 

“You alright?” Gladio asked quietly, noticing your growing discomfort. 

“Yeah,” you reassured him, “I’m just not great at talking to people.”

“You’re doing great,” he said with a smile, “I know you’re tired from work, so we can leave as soon as you’ve had your fill.” You wanted to insist that you stay, but your body betrayed you as you let out a yawn. Gladio smiled and stood, encouraging you to do the same. 

“I think it’s time we head out,” Gladio announced. 

“It was lovely to meet you,” Clarus said with a nod.

“I hope you’ll join us again,” King Regis said. 

“Thank you all for having me,” you said as evenly as you could, “I really appreciate it.” 

Gladio placed his hand on your back as he led you away. 

“You said you were off work tomorrow, right?” he asked. You nodded. He stopped in the hall exiting the dining room, “If you want, uhm... “ he scratched the back of his head bashfully, “you can stay at my place tonight, it’s here in the capital. I know you’re tired, so if you just wanna go home I understand, and I’ll take you...” he trailed off and refused to look you in the eyes. Something fuzzy spread in your chest. He was almost an adult, but he still fumbled like a pubescent teenager. 

“Can I use your shower?” you asked. He looked up at the question. 

“If you’re comfortable,” he replied, his cheeks red. 

“Let’s go, then,” you said. Gladio tried to hide the smile that cracked across his face. 

Gladio’s living quarters made your jaw drop. Compared to your tiny apartment, Gladio’s place was a  _ mansion _ . That’s what you get for being a shield, you thought. 

“You  _ live _ here?” you asked in shock. 

“Yeah,” he said, “with my sister. My room’s this way.” 

“Your living room is literally bigger than my entire apartment,” you say, entering his room. It was incredibly tidy, save for a sweatshirt hanging over the chair on his desk. Gladio chuckles at your comment. 

“It’s nice, but I’d rather sleep in the great outdoors,” 

“You’re kidding,” you said, taking off your shoes. 

“Nope. Sometimes I take a sleeping bag and sleep on my balcony,” he said. You shook your head and laughed. 

“What I’d give to live like royalty,” you say, half to yourself. 

“The bathroom’s there,” Gladio said, “You can borrow a change of clothes if you want.” 

“I’ll do that,” you say, “thanks.” 

Gladio showered after you, apologizing for how big the pants he’d loaned you were. You tied the drawstring as tight as you could, thanking him for letting you borrow them. 

“Don’t look under my bed,” he winked as he closed the bathroom door. 

“Don’t take your gauze off, and try not to get your face wet,” you told him before he showered. Cleaned up and dressed in Gladio’s clothes, you decided to survey his bookshelf. To your surprise, he had a huge collection of romance novels. You pulled one from the shelf and read the cover, laughing to yourself. You couldn’t believe that a meathead like Gladio would ever read a fluffy romance novel, let alone as many as he had on his shelf.

A silver book caught your attention, and you pulled it from the shelf. You opened the cover and realized that it was a journal. Guilt and curiosity swarming in your chest, you listened to make sure the shower was still on before you read through the pages. It was full of Gladio’s handwriting. You flipped through it, landing on an entry from about three years ago. He’d printed out a photo of a sunset and pasted it onto the page. Your heart jumping, you recognized that picture as the one you took while on an early morning run with Gladio a long time ago. Your jaw went slack as you read the cursive handwriting around the image:

_ You are like a sunrise after a decade of night. You are my hope and my light. Every day, you return, bringing my joy in the form of your smile. As prey emerges with the rays of sun, relieved of surviving another night, I emerge anxious to see your light. As a flower opens its dewy petals in the morning, I wish I could open my heart and show you the way you make me feel. As a forest needs the sun, I need you. You are beautiful and breathtaking. I wish I could capture you in my arms as you captured this sunrise in your camera lens.  _

Blinking away tears, you gently shut the journal and return it to its place on the shelf. Gladio had written that about you. You stood in shock, thoughts racing before you were brought out of your daze by the sound of the shower shutting off. You quickly sat on the bed and pretended to be busy on your phone as Gladio came out of the bathroom. 

“I hope you didn’t look under my bed,” he said, drying his hair off with a towel. 

“What if I did?” you tease. He wore a pair of black sweatpants and a t-shirt that hugged his frame nicely. 

“I’d have to punish you for breaking the rules,” he joked, tossing the towel in the laundry hamper, “100 push ups.  _ Now _ .” He sat next to you on the bed with a chuckle.

“I didn’t know you read romance novels,” you said. His face became red as he grinned. 

“Yeah, they’re nice,” he said bashfully. You instinctively press down a corner of gauze that was beginning to peel away from his face. 

“Your cut hasn’t bled through the gauze like I thought it would,” you said, inspecting the dressing, “but we’ll still change it in the morning.” 

“You know,” he began, laying back on the bed, “I could have gotten away without it.” Not sure what he was talking about, you lied down on one elbow as you listened.

“I could have wrestled that knife away from him, but he was obviously drunk and… I just couldn’t bring myself to hurt him. He’s a citizen of Insomnia, and I could never hurt my own people.” You were surprised at how easily Gladio opened up to you. It normally took you long bouts of tedious prying for him to talk about how he was feeling. 

“I’m glad it’s not as bad as it could have been,” you said, “You protected Noctis like you were supposed to.” Gladio hummed in thought before turning on his side to face you. You stared into his amber eyes, his gentle gaze suddenly overwhelming. 

“I’m glad you decided to stay,” he said fondly. You smile at him, something heavy settling in the pit of your stomach. You wanted nothing more than to know what his arms felt like around you, but as you looked at the bandages on his face, dread gripped your heart. Even if you  _ were  _ together, you couldn’t knowing that he might leave you at any moment. His duty expected that he lay down his life to protect his prince. 

“You alright?” he asked, noticing your silence. You nodded, biting your lip. You took a deep breath, your heart racing. 

“I didn’t look under your bed,” you said. 

“I was just joking about that,” he said with a smile.  _ Fuck it _ , you thought,  _ what harm can it do? _

“But I read your journal,” Gladio looked past your eyes in thought.

“The silver one?” he asked. You nodded. He laughed. 

“What part of it?” 

“The part with the sunrise,” Gladio chuckled and sat up, running a hand through his damp hair. 

“ _ Wow _ , that was a while ago,” he said, smiling and fidgeting with his hands. 

“I’m sorry,” you said, sitting up as well. 

“I’m not mad,” he said, turning towards you, “really. In fact… I still mean everything I wrote in there.” You looked at him, disbelief in your eyes. His deep voice so close to you made your chest tingle. Gladio sighed. 

“I’ve liked you for a long time,” he said, “I feel like you just… get it. You understand me like nobody else has, and you’ve made me get rid of so much doubt I had in myself. You’re brave and strong and your smile is so damn beautiful it makes me wanna cry sometimes. You just make me so happy, and… I love you.” His speech made your hair stand on end. Speechless, you wrapped your arms around him, trying not to cry. He squeezed you into him, leaning into your touch. 

“I love you too,” you said eventually. Gladio broke the hug and cradled your face in his hand. You looked into his eyes and were suddenly overcome with emotion. Tears welled in your eyes and dripped down your cheeks as you laughed and buried your face into Gladio’s chest. Gladio chuckled, squeezing you tight again. 

“Are you laughing or crying?” he asked. 

“I don’t know,” you said, still squeezing your arms around him. He laid down, bringing you with him and rubbed circles on your back. Eventually, you regained your composure and looked at him. He moved his hand from your back to the nape of your neck and pulls you in, kissing you gently. He pulls away all too soon, smiling. 

“I love you,” you tell him again. He kisses you on the forehead. 

“I love you too.” You fall asleep in his arms, never wanting to let go. 

***

“You’re awfully happy this morning,” Noctis said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Gladio fought the urge to giggle like a child. 

“Did I not see you bring Y/N to your room after dinner last night?” Ignis asked, a smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth. Prompto playfully shoved Gladio in the shoulder. 

“Gladio and Y/N sitting in a tree,” he sang, “F-U-C-K-I--” Gladio cut him off and held him in a headlock, holding his hand over his mouth. 

“That’s enough,” he growled, shoving the blonde away. 

“Come on,  _ Daddio _ , you know I’m right,” Prompto teased, thrusting his hips suggestively. 

“You little shit!” Gladio yelled, lunging for Prompto again. Noctis laughed to himself while Ignis rolled his eyes. 


	3. It's Doubt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gladio doubts himself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter to kick off the resurrection of this fic owo (i haven't touched this fic in months but it's real missing gladio hours u_u)

Gladio couldn’t sleep. As much as he tossed and turned in his bed, he couldn’t get his mind to turn off. Tomorrow, he would begin the first session of his tattoo. He rolled over, feeling for his phone. He squinted at the bright light and opened his messages, pulling up your contact. 

> _Are you awake? I can’t sleep :(_

He placed his phone back on the nightstand, rubbing his hands over his face and groaning. He thought some push ups would help clear his mind, but he couldn’t find the will to get out of bed. He quickly picked it up again when it buzzed with your incoming call. 

“Hey love,” you said, sleepiness muffling your voice. 

“Hey, did I wake you up?” Gladio asked. 

“No, I just got up to use the bathroom and saw your text. What’s goin’ on?” Gladio sighed, laying on his back. 

“I’m nervous for tomorrow,” he admitted. You smiled. 

“Don’t be. Remember when we were younger and you always told me how cool and exciting it was?” Gladio chuckled on the other end. 

“Yeah, but something about it is just… scary now,” he said. You knew exactly why Gladio couldn’t sleep, and you knew exactly why he was scared. You wanted him to figure it out for himself, though. 

“Why are you scared?” Gladio sighed. 

“My dad has the same tattoo,” he explained slowly, “He’s an incredible shield to the king, and an incredible fighter. He always tells me how proud of me he is, but he never lets me settle. He always wants me to be better and stronger…” You hummed, letting Gladio finish his thought. 

“I’ll _really_ be a shield when the tattoo is done. I’m scared because I’m worried I’m not good enough.” he finished with a sigh. Your heart ached for Gladio. If only he could see himself the way you do. 

“What would make you feel good enough?” You asked him. He was silent for a while. 

“I don’t know,” he admitted. You sigh, stretching your arms above your head. 

“You know you’re strong, and an excellent fighter. Hell, I can barely keep up with you anymore. You know you can protect Noctis, so why do you doubt yourself?” 

“What if there’s an enemy that I can’t protect him from? What if I’m not strong enough to protect him?” He said. 

“Don’t think about what _could_ be, Gladio. There could _always_ be an enemy that’s stronger than you. Insomnia trusts you to protect the prince. The second you stop trusting yourself, the second you doubt your ability, you’ve failed.” Gladio sighed on the other end. 

“I’m being hard on you because I love you,” you explained, “Doubt clouds your vision and stops you from really being able to do your job. The king, his shield, and his son all know you are capable of your duty. You have to stop doubting yourself.” Gladio smiled. 

“Thank you,” he said. 

“Tell me you’re strong,” you demanded. Gladio hesitated. 

“I’m strong,” he said eventually. 

“Tell me you’re capable,” Gladio repeated you again. 

“Tell me you’re the best damn shield the kings of Lucis have ever had,” you said.

“Well, I don’t know about that,” he chuckles, “but I know I’ll protect Noct from anything that comes his way.” You smiled, sighing out a yawn. 

“I should probably let you get back to sleep,” Gladio said, “Thank you for getting me out of my head.” 

“Anytime sweet pea,” you said, “I love you.” 

“Love you more, _babe,_ ” Gladio teased. He rarely ever used pet names with you, and he loved the way it made you blush whenever he did. You wished each other a goodnight and hung up. 

Gladio rolled over to his side and pulled his blankets up to his chin. He smiled as he drifted off to sleep. 

***

Gladio left the castle, taking a deep breath. The fresh air and warm midday sun on his skin rejuvenated him, and he smiled at the sight of his friends approaching him. 

“Let me see, let me see!” Prompto begged, skipping towards Gladio. He grinned, moving his vest to the side to show the fresh tattoo on his chest. Prompto gasped, beaming.  
“That’s so cool!” he chirped, practically bouncing on his feet. 

“No turning back now, I suppose,” Ignis said, pride sparkling in his eyes. Noctis remained quiet, something tugging at his features. He looked at Gladio, crossing his arms. Gladio looked back at him. He couldn’t tell if it was the sting of the new tattoo or something deeper in his chest, but it yearned for the prince. 

“I guess I’m _really_ stuck with you now, huh?” Noctis joked, smiling at Gladio. Gladio laughed, gently shoving him in the shoulder. 

***

The four had lunch at their favorite burger joint, excitedly chatting with each other. Gladio chided Noctis for picking the lettuce and tomato off of his, while Prompto excitedly scarfed his down. 

“Tell us about _Y/N_ ,” Noctis teased, raising an eyebrow at Gladio. Prompto chuckled, elbowing Glaido in the side. 

“They’re great,” is all he said, choosing to stuff his face with his burger instead. 

“You know, for a couple that has been together for 6 months, you don’t talk about them much,” Noctis prodded further. 

“You know, for a couple that’s been together since childhood, you’d think you’d figure out a better way to communicate than through an ethereal notebook,” Gladio jabbed back. Prompto chuckled. 

“Be nice, children,” Ignis sighed, wiping his mouth and pushing his glasses up, “Noctis’ relationship with Lady Lunafreya is far different from yours.” 

“We just wanna know about them,” Prompto said, “You’ve only been in love with them for the last, I dunno, five years? We never see them.” Gladio sighed, remaining quiet. 

“Awwww, is the big man embarrassed?” Noctis teased, kneeing Gladio under the table. 

“They’re beautiful and amazing and strong and they make me feel like nobody else ever has and I love them with all my heart,” Gladio exhaled, looking Noctis in the eyes, “Is that what you wanted?” 

“That’s _so_ sweet,” Prompto swooned, “You’re giving me a cavity over here.” Noctis pretended to gag. 

“Imagine falling in love with a big sweaty goofball like you,” he teased, yelping when Gladio stamped on his foot under the table. 

“I’m glad you picked someone as kind as them to fall for,” Ignis commented, neatly folding his napkin and resting it on his place, “If we’re finished, we should go back. Noctis has training to do.” 

***

As the group made their way back to the capitol, they were stopped by a group of injured Crownsguard being rushed into the hospital. Amidst the chaos, Gladio saw you carrying a stretcher and loading an injured man onto it. You smiled and nodded quickly at him before moving inside the capitol. 

“Oh man,” Prompto said, “This looks bad.” 

“The conflicts with Nifelhiem have become more frequent, and more violent,” Ignis commented gravely. Gladio balled his fists and looked at Noctis, who watched the scene with anger in his eyes. 

“Let’s go to the library,” Ignis said eventually, placing a hand on Noctis’ shoulder, “We have chapters to finish studying.” Prompto stayed by Gladio’s side for a moment before sighing and turning away, leaving the shield to watch his people writhe in pain on the concrete. 


	4. It's Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gladio leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters in one night???? i don't really know where to go after this so i might go on another 7 month hiatus from it (for legal reasons that was a joke i'll try my best ;-;) sorry for any mistakes i lowkey don't proofread my fics lmao <3

After an exhausting day at work, you were more than happy to spend your evening in Gladio’s arms. You showered and dressed, waiting for Gladio’s knock on your apartment door. 

Growing ever more impatient, you opened your phone and texted him. 

_ > bby hurry up i miss u :( <3 _

_Be there in 5 love < _

_ > ok love youuuuu _

_Love you tooooo < _

You dropped your phone on your bed, and decided to water the plants in your room to pass the time. You smiled fondly at a particular one, a leafy plant with budding white flowers. Gladio had given it to you. 

“I know you like plants, so I got you this one. I got it coming back from a camping trip with my dad outside the wall. You can’t really find them anywhere here,” he’d told you. 

You were brought out of your reminiscing by a knock on your door. Gladio entered your apartment, and you hugged him before he could even take his shoes off. 

“Hey there cutie,” he said, kissing you. 

“Hey,” you replied with a smile. Gladio slid his boots off and followed you to your room. You both laid on the bed and eagerly snuggled into one another. 

“You’re awfully cuddly tonight,” Gladio noticed, placing a kiss on your forehead. You looked at him as he cradled you in his arms. His amber eyes and sharp features made your heart ache. 

“I’m gonna miss you,” you told him. Gladio hummed in confusion. “When you leave for Altissia,” you continued. Gladio sighed and looked away, squeezing you tighter into his chest. He nuzzled into your neck and kissed your cheek. He wanted nothing more than to stay like this forever. Tomorrow he was to leave with the prince, and felt overwhelming anxiety at the thought.

“I’m gonna miss you too,” he said, “but, if all goes well, we should be back within a month.” You sighed, knowing the likelihood of that outcome. 

The two of you laid there for a long time, not daring to go to sleep. The next morning would be the last time you saw one another for who knows how long. You didn’t even begin to think about Gladio not coming back--the thought made you nauseous to the point of gagging. 

Gladio sighed and pulled you closer, inhaling your scent. 

“I love you so bad it makes me wanna cry sometimes,” he admitted. You smiled against his chest, listening to the strong beat of his heart. 

***

The next morning, you both readied and went to the castle together. Gladio was headed off to gather his things, and you were headed off to work. Once their things were loaded into the Regalia, Gladio quickly pardoned himself to run one more quick errand. 

He made his way into the hospital, searching the halls until he found you. 

“Y/N!” he called, jogging to catch up with you. You smiled, not expecting to see him. 

“Hey! What are you doing here?” you ask. 

“We’re all packed up,” he said solemnly, “I wanted to, uh...” he trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. He reached into his back pocket and handed you an envelope. 

“I wrote you this,” he said awkwardly, a blush settling on his cheeks, “read it once you get a chance. Maybe after your shift.” You grew concerned, but placed the note safely in your pocket and hugged him. 

“Keep in touch, okay?” you asked. 

“I’ll make sure I call whenever I have cell service,” he promised. He kissed you, squeezing you tightly to his chest. You squeezed him back, a deep breath shaking your shoulders. 

“Come on, you can’t cry or I’ll shed a tear too,” Gladio said, “I can’t be puffy eyed in front of the king.” You smiled, blinking away the tears threatening to fall.

“Come back in one piece,” you said. 

“I will. I love you,”

“I love you too,” you said, stealing one last kiss before Gladio turned and left the hospital. Curiosity burned a hole in your leg where the note was, but you pushed it aside until the end of your shift. 

***

Your shift couldn’t be over soon enough, and as soon as you clocked out you nearly ran out of the building already pulling the note out of your pocket. You found a spot on a bench nearby and opened it carefully.

_Y/N,_

_You’d think after reading a bunch of romance novels I’d be able to say things that made sense. I didn’t have the guts to say this in person, but I bet we’re both thinking about it. I know I am. I want you to know that I love you with every fibre of my being. I wouldn’t be the same without you, and I thank the astrals every day that I have you. If I don’t come back, it’s because I did what I had to do to protect the prince._

_I don’t know how to say this… Your strength is incredible, and I know that eventually it would be time to move on. I’m okay with that. I want you to be happy, no matter what._

_I’m sorry I couldn’t say this in person. If all goes according to plan, I’ll be back in a month. I’m looking forward to seeing you again. I love you._

_\- Gladio_

You stared at the note for a long time, rereading it until your eyes hurt. You felt a wave of anxiety rise in your chest, and tried your best to quell the nausea. Digging the heel of your palm into your forehead, you begin to cry. For the first time, you let yourself feel the weight of the situation, wrestling with the fact that Gladio _really_ might not come back. You cried until you couldn’t anymore.


	5. It's Loss (pt. 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Insomnia falls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so ~technically~ the chocobros left on the same day insomnia fell but pretend like it happened the next day uwu a little bit of angst this chapter (i almost cried writing it lmao) as always sorry for any mistakes <3

“No need to clock in,” Cor told you before you made it to the hospital doors, “You have an important task today.” Confused, you took the uniform Cor handed you. 

“What’s going on?” you asked. 

“Today is the treaty-signing ceremony between Insomnia and Niflheim to officiate peace and the wedding between Prince Noctis and Lady Lunafreya. I need you to be present and ready to fight if things go south,” Cor explained. Anxiety began to fill in your chest. 

“Do you think it will?” You asked him. 

“I don’t know, but it’s better to be safe,” he said, unwavering, “Go change.” 

***

You felt wildly out of place amongst the royals of Insomnia, but you didn’t let the feeling cloud sight of your purpose. You kept a close eye on the Niflheim ambassadors, almost suffocating from the tension in the air. After a lot of royal jargon that you only understood part of, the treaty was signed, and King Regis and the ruler of Niflheim waved proudly to their onlookers. 

Suddenly, you watched the king’s shield summon his sword. A beam of light exploded upwards, and you watched in horror as the shield protecting Insomnia began to disappear. 

Everything happened so fast. You began swinging at the Niflheim ambassadors, taking a few of them down before you realized in horror that the King’s own ambassadors were turning against him. You watched as an enormous armored figure advanced at the King. His shield defended him, only to be shoved back. The King drew his arms and blocked it’s next advance while his shield attempted to attack from behind. The figure turned and grabbed Clarus by the neck and flung him across the room. 

“YN!” you heard Cor scream, “Evacuate the city! Protect our citizens!” The thought of leaving the King in this room made your stomach drop, but before your brain could decide any better, you began to run. You sprinted down the grand hallways of the Citadel until you finally reached the doors. The streets were chaos: people running and screaming as Niflheim airships descended on the city. Swarms of Magitek troopers swarmed the streets and massacred Insomnia’s citizens. The Crownsguard did what they could to usher people to safety, but many fell to the attack. 

You screamed as your city fell around you. 

***

Gladio scrambled for his phone, his heart dropping at the 9 missed calls. He frantically dialed your number. 

“Y/N, are you okay!?” Gladio asked. You were too stunned to say anything, and hearing his voice again made you want to scream. 

“Y/N? Are you there? Talk to me, please,” he begged. You parted your lips to say something, but no sound left your mouth. Instead, your eyes filled with tears, you took a deep, shaky breath, and you sobbed. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay love, just breathe okay?” Gladio tried to soothe you. Eventually, you found the will to speak through your sobs. 

“I-I’m okay,” you managed, “Th-the city…” 

“I know… I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he sighed. You took a moment to try and steady your breaths. 

“There were so many MT’s,” you said, “P-people were just… dying in front o-of me. There was nothing I could do. I got as m-many of them as I c-could out of the city but…” 

“You did all you could. Nobody could have predicted any of this,” Gladio said grimly. There was a brief silence before you spoke again. 

“Iris is okay, but...” you tried, your tongue stilled. 

“What is it?” he asked. You took a deep breath. 

“Your dad,” you breathed, “I’m so sorry.” Gladio’s heart dropped. He'd assumed as much, but his skin still felt cold and sweaty and his knees were weak.

“How did he die?” he asked, sorrow thickening his voice.

“T-there was a, uh… this huge armored knight that attacked the King. Your dad did what he could, but it was so strong. It, uh…” your voice began to shake and fresh tears began to well in your eyes, “It grabbed him and just… threw him like he was nothing.” Gladio was silent on the other end. 

“He did what he had to do,” he said eventually.

“I’m so sorry,” you said again. 

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Gladio said, feeling the weight of the world descend on his shoulders. 

***

“How you holdin’ up, big guy?” Prompto asked, sitting next to Gladio around the campfire. Noctis had gone to sleep in the tent, and Ignis was writing in a journal nearby. Gladio blinked, realizing he’d been staring at the bright flames of the fire for most of the night. 

“I’m, uh, doing alright,” the shield breathed. 

“I can’t believe the Crown city fell,” Prompto said, shaking his head, “It’s bad for us, I can’t imagine how bad it is for the people inside.” 

“Y/N was there. From what they said, it’s… pretty bad,” Gladio explained, allowing himself to stare into the fire again. He saw Prompto fidget with the bracelets on his wrist. 

“Are they okay?” the blonde asked. Gladio nodded. For some reason, he found it hard to envision your face. 

“They’re currently helping people out of the city and caring for the wounded. Shame they couldn’t--” Gladio stopped himself, biting on the inside of his cheek and balling his fists. 

“Couldn’t what?” Prompto pressed gently. Gladio sighed. 

“They were in the room when the treaty was signed. There was an explosion, and a knight attacked the king… and his shield.” Gladio said mostly to himself, “If the Shield and the entire Crownsguard couldn’t protect him, Y/N couldn’t have either.” 

“Y/N is one of the best healers in the city, even without magic. It was probably better that they look after the citizens,” Prompto said. 

A long silence fell between them before Prompto spoke again. 

“I’m sorry… about Clarus,” he said. Gladio bit down on the inside of his cheek so hard he was sure he’d taste blood. He balled his fists until his knuckles hurt. Eventually he took a deep breath and relaxed. 

“He did what he was supposed to do,” the shield said evenly, standing up from his chair. 

That night, he didn’t sleep. He pulled his sleeping bag from the tent and laid it outside, a few meters from camp. He watched the stars circle above while he smothered his searing loss until it became a cold emptiness in the pit of his stomach. 

***

There was little else outside of treating patients after the Crown city fell. Iris had begun helping you in a medical encampment outside the city. She’d mentioned she wanted to learn how to fight, and you’d promised to teach her if you found the time. 

“Have you talked to my brother at all? He’s been missing my phone calls,” she asked. The question made your stomach drop. After the fall, things had gotten so hectic that you didn’t realize that the last time you spoke to the Shield was almost two weeks ago. 

“Uh, no…” you said, lowering your eyes. 

“Are the two of you, y’know, still together?” Iris asked. You could tell she was prying as gently as she could, and you silently thanked her for it. 

“Yeah,” you said, doubt tugging at your diaphragm, “It’s just all been so crazy, I haven’t had the chance to call him. He’s likely got a lot on his plate right now, too. Still, if there’s anyone’s calls he should be answering it’s yours.” 

“I might call Prompto or Ignis and tell him to pick up,” she admitted, “I just miss him so bad. I know he’s got a job to do, but I wanna make sure he’s okay.” 

“I’ll try and call him today, and if he answers I’ll tell him to call you,” you promised. Iris smiled her big smile, the first you’d seen in days, and thanked you. 

***

“Gladio! Why haven’t you been answering you big dope? I’ve been worried sick about you!” Iris said, ecstatic that her brother finally answered the phone. 

“Hey,” Gladio said, allowing himself to smile a little, “I’m sorry, I’ve been really busy. I’m fine.”

“I’m alright too, I’ve been helping Y/N in a medical encampment outside the city. We had a ton of patients in the first few days, but the Kingsglaive have been clearing out the city well,” Iris explained. 

“I’m glad to hear you’re okay,” Gladio admitted, “I wish I could be there.” 

“Me too,” she said, “I miss you a lot. It’s been like, five days since the last time we talked. I doubt you haven’t checked your phone for that long.” 

“What’re you saying?”

“I’m saying that I think you’re ignoring me,” Iris said flatly. Gladio’s heart stung, and a lump threatened to form in his throat. 

“I’m not ignoring anyone, especially not you. I promise. It’s just… been a lot to take in.” Gladio said. Iris was quiet for a while. 

“I miss dad,” she said. Gladio sighed, hearing her take shaky breaths. 

“He did what he had to do,” he said. Iris began to cry, sniffling and sobbing on the other end. 

“I’m so sorry, Iris,” Gladio said. Eventually, Iris regained her breath. 

“I really hope you come back soon,” she said, “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you too.” Gladio’s lip began to quiver, and a tear rolled down his cheek. He dug the heel of his palm into his eye, trying to push down the lump in his throat. 

“You know I love you, right?” he asked, his voice cracking. Iris smiled, wiping her face. 

“You know I love you too, right?” she asked in return. Despite his tears, Gladio smiled. His shoulders shook, and he didn’t know if he was laughing or crying. Probably both. 

“Dad always said he was proud of you,” Iris said after a while, “I am too. You’ve always been so strong. I hope to be as strong as you one day.” 

“Come on now, you’re just buttering me up,” Gladio said, “You’re already stronger than I am.”

“Y/N said they’d teach me how to fight, if we ever found the time. I can’t wait to beat you up when you get back,” Iris said cheerfully. 

“Careful what you wish for, I won’t go easy on you just ‘cause you’re my sister,” Gladio chuckled. They were quiet again, just happy to know the other was there. 

They spent the rest of the night reminiscing about the times they had together, and with their dad. They laughed and cried enough times that they lost track before Iris got too tired to talk anymore. 

“I think it’s time I get to bed,” she said with a yawn, “I can barely keep my eyes open.” 

“Sleep well, and have good dreams,” Gladio said, yawning himself. 

“You’d better not ignore my phone calls again,” Iris warned, “or I’ll tell Cor and the boys and have them beat you up.” Gladio laughed. 

“I’ll try my best,” he said. 

“Promise?” 

“Promise.”


End file.
